Meet Quack®, the interactive ornamental water bird which is easy to care for and fully programmable to act and think exactly the way you want!

Quack is one of a few remaining prototypes for a planned robotic product. The idea was that of creating a pet, a creature to reside in parks and gardens, which needed no food and little care [and were at no risk of being eaten by foxes, I guess].

It obviously requires no feeding, but the wing-sail joints must be routinely checked, particularly in the first month of ownership. Scratches and tears are also a risk, particularly if left unattended for a long time.

It was an intelligent and clever robot which was, really, more than just a toy, which could learn to recognise and respond to its owners. Expensive, too, but virtual pets have long been popular enough to fetch a high price.

However, the company collapsed before mass production could begin, and interest was quickly lost in taking the idea further. After all, who would want a robotic bird?
The Quack models were mostly scrapped, but a few were snapped up by collectors.
That's what I found out about it, anyway.

When you are finished with it for the time being, your Quack® folds up into an egg measuring no more than half a metre in length- perfect for transportation or storage!

This particular model belongs to me, pretty much by accident. I'd like to say that I found it in a skip or something that makes me sound like I rescued it, but in reality I bought it at a white elephant stall for thirty quid.
It was in the form of some kind of egg, and I actually thought it was some kind of Apple product before I somehow caused it to unfold.

Your Quack® comes ready to learn! Simply follow the instructions in the manual to find out how to easily put the settings so that you are its very first human friend.

I wasn't really sure what to make of it at first, this metre-tall duck/goose.. thing. But it was cute, in its own odd way. It makes a quiet "click" sound as it walks, with the same jerky, uncertain movement that you'd expect from hens. The webbed feet don't seem to help.

It is totally water-resistant, so there's no need to give it shelter from the rain. In fact, your Quack® can remain outside for the entirety of its product life!

I don't have a pond or swimming pool or anything-- I don't even have a bath, just a shower-- so after doing a bit of research into what I had actually bought, I took the thing down to the local park, where there's a lake.
To be honest I wasn't expecting much: like when you bring a toy boat down to the lake but it just capsizes. Or perhaps that's my luck. I don't know.
Either way, this robot set off faster than I would have believed, swimming around in circles and scaring the crap out of the ducks and geese who lived there.

Quack® models more than look and act like a bird- they think like one, too! Don't worry- your Quack® has no flight instinct, so won't try to fly and risk damage! Its wing is totally incapable of flight, acting as a sail when swimming on windy days, or folding away when not needed.

As soon as it powerswam out of sight, I thought that was it: I'd spent much of my cash this thing, and managed to lose it in less than a few hours. Eventually I began to leave, and within a couple of minutes heard the clicking sound which would quickly become familiar: it had climbed out of the lake and awkwardly walked/ran after me.

It is perfectly normal for your Quack® to gather stones as though they were eggs, or to create a nest just as real birds would! The fluffy panel on the chest, which hides the workings, contains enough warmth to hatch/nurture eggs and chicks in case of an emergency.
*NOTE: this is not recommended for the long term.

And that's how it's been since then, really. It follows me around everywhere, now.
I suppose it's something of a novelty pet. I get people-- kids, usually-- running over and asking me where I got it. I've given up trying to explain. I used to tell most of them that the adults know, they just don't want to let anyone in on the secret.
I'm now sort-of known as "the guy with the robot duck".
Still, walking it to the lake every day gives me as much exercise as I might get by having a dog.

How is Quack® feeling today? Its eyes, which contain a top-range camera to detect and analyse its surroundings, can also display a range of emotions depending on how much time it spends with you.
Of course, this aspect can be turned off if unnecessary- please see your manual. Quack® will still go into "sleep mode" for five hours or more each night, to conserve power.

Quack's a strange thing, still. It doesn't act like a robot. By that I mean, I don't think it realises that it's not alive. It's a weird thing to say, but there you go.
It waddles over to see me if I'm being quieter than usual, or will start up some kind of game, hiding or running about.
I've seen it try to peck at the ground outside before realising that it doesn't have a beak, or scratching at the grass or carpet, sometimes for hours on end. The rug near the front door is pretty much ruined by now.

Your Quack® runs a little off solar power, but must be conventionally recharged once a fortnight or more, depending on how much it walks or swims. If not charged, it will go straight into "sleep mode", even if in the middle of the day.
To charge, simply plug the charger into the port beneath the chest panel. The port can accept several different shaped charger cables in case you've lost your charger.

I know it sounds funny, but there's something that's almost sad about it. I try to lock it indoors to go out for the day, and it'll beep and try to push the door open. When I come back it's still standing there, waiting.
I doubt it's me in particular. I just happen to own it. Maybe it's more about lacking a sense of purpose. I don't know.
Whatever the reason, I can't bring myself to just leave it for the battery to run down.

We hope that you enjoy making Quack® a part of your garden or park, and have fun with the time you play with it. If the mode is not turned off, Quack® can play games and recognise its owner. Find out how much it can interact with you!

It's stupid to feel sorry for, or be attached to, something like that. A pet which isn't even an animal. Something that's nearly a friend which isn't even alive.
It's stupid.

Isn't it?